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Whatever Ocean
by Gail

Title: Whatever Ocean
Author: Gail
Author's Website: Stories and Stuff by Gail, or Precious Gems
Mirror Site @ Angelfire
Updates on the Author's Work: [gemstories] (Mailing List at Yahoo! Groups)
Fandom: J.A.G.
Pairing: Harmon Rabb / Clayton Webb
Rating: NC-17 (for m/m sex)
Author's Disclaimer: I know I haven't been good enough this year for Santa to give them to me, so I guess Belisarius Productions and CBS get to keep the rights to Harmon Rabb and Clayton Webb and Clark Palmer, dammit.
Author's Notes: For allaire and mareen, and always, for Alexandra. I can't let her go. She loved Solstice and wanted that Webb and Rabb to be happy.
Thanks to Elizabeth and Scarlet for fine betas when they were both very busy. They're wonderful people.
Warning: Someone almost said he loved someone else. Scared the hell out of me. *g*
Series/Sequel: Story V in the "Solstice" Series.


"Hey, Webb." Palmer pokes his head into my office, and I look up. "What are you doing for Christmas? Eating vegetarian crap with Harm?"

I motion him inside and say nothing until he shuts the door. It's been a while since Palmer mentioned Rabb, and, since it's the holiday season, I've been expecting something like this.

"What I do with him is none of your business. I thought I'd made that clear."

"Yeah, but Webb, come on, I feel a real interest in you lovebirds. I promise I won't tell anyone. What are you going to do?" He perches on the end of my desk and looks at me expectantly.

"Was there anything related to work you wanted to know?"

He sighs and slips off the desk to his feet. "All right, be that way. Just trying to show an interest."

The worst thing is that I suspect he really was, in his own strange way. "Palmer?" He stops on his way to the door. "I hope you have something to do for the holidays." I do want him to be as happy as he can, as long as he leaves Harm alone, and I think he's smart enough to do that.

That grin he puts on at will flashes over his face. "Sure, no problem. A couple of friends and I are going out for a night on the town. Should be a blast."

Probably DSD friends, but I think Palmer's smart enough to keep out of trouble, and if he isn't, I'll make sure he knows I'm not pleased by his behavior. He doesn't want me against him, and that's something I'll use if I have to. "Have a good time."

"You, too."

I think he's going to go, but he just stands there with his hand on the doorknob, and I wonder what he's thinking. I probably don't want to know. I wouldn't be surprised if he was imagining Harm in some kind of trouble as his Christmas present. Then he turns around and reaches inside his suit jacket.

"Guess now's as good a time as any. Happy holidays and all that." He tosses an envelope on my desk and stands there.

"Happy holidays to you, too." I pick up the envelope and slit it open to find a card with a black- and-white picture of the reflecting pool in front of the Lincoln Memorial, with a long shot of the statue, and snow covering everything and falling. Inside there's a gift certificate to Phillippi, a restaurant with a reputation for creative cuisine in a quiet setting. Thoughtful.

"It's a good place. Thought you might like it."

"I've heard it's good. Thank you." I don't have anything for him. This is embarrassing.

"You're welcome. Didn't want to break tradition." He has a funny half-smile on his face, then it's gone. "I always gave my superior a present at Christmas."

I see. DSD tradition. "I'll bring yours in soon."

"If you want to. No rush," he says carefully, and I'm almost certain he's trying to tell me I don't have to give him anything. It makes sense from the little we know about the DSD, but he gave me something, so I'll give him something. I probably would have anyway. "Later."

I shut my eyes for a moment after he leaves. I'd like to know what I'm doing for Christmas, but Harm hasn't brought up the subject, and I've been so damned busy here that I haven't done anything about the season myself, no presents, no cards, no decorations. I've got three days. That will have to be enough. I probably should go shopping tonight, but that's out of the question. Tonight I'm seeing Harm, and I'll bring up the holiday and see what he has to say. I won't be alone if he already has plans, but I want to be with him.

You're supposed to be with the one you care about at Christmas time.


Harm sighs as he collapses on the couch, arms flung wide over the back. "Hell of a day." He looks like he's ready to go to sleep right there.

I sit next to him. "I thought JAG would get less busy at Christmas."

He opens an eye. "Not this Christmas. Seems like everybody and his cousin is in some kind of trouble with the military." He sighs again and gets both eyes open. "I'm no fun tonight. Give me a minute; I'll get some energy back."

"There's no need for that. I can see you another time. I'll leave you to get some rest." I stand, but he grabs me and pulls me back down.

"You just got here. I don't want you to go," he murmurs and holds me, my back against his chest. I let myself relax against him, then remember what I want to find out.

"What are you doing for Christmas?" I don't want to play games with him. We agreed not to lie to each other.

"Spending it in bed with you?"

I smile. I don't think we'll spend the whole day in bed, but it could happen, and he wants to be with me. "I'll have to think about it," I tease.

He lets go of me and pushes himself to the far end of the couch. "If you have to think about it, forget it."

Damn. He must be even more exhausted than I thought. "Harm, I was making a joke. I want to spend Christmas with you."

I'll tell Mother I've got other plans. She'll smile, tell me to have a lovely time, and not ask anything, even though I know she'll be curious. I'll tell her about Harm eventually, maybe next year. I know she wouldn't condemn me, but I'm not ready to deal with even happiness from her now.

The anger drains out of his eyes, and he sighs and slumps against the couch. "Right."

"You want to spend it here, or at my place?" I'd rather be at my place, but here is nice. Harm's made sure to get all kinds of things that I use: my soap, the toothpaste I like, even towels that are good and thick like the ones I have. I appreciate his thoughtfulness.

He looks around the room, then at me. "We spend a lot of time here."

"I thought you preferred it that way." I'm careful to put it without prejudice, as he'd say.

"I did, but I don't want to be unfair to you. You'll get a tree?" He's got a wistful tone in his voice, and I know I'm getting a tree now.

"Certainly." I think about asking him to trim it with me, then dismiss it. That's something a couple does, and even though maybe we are one, it seems a little too romantic for us. I'll fit it into my schedule.

"Then your place."

"Get a good night's sleep. I'll talk to you later."

He grabs me again. "No. You stay with me. I want you to keep me warm. You're good at that."

He burrows his mouth in my neck, and after a few kisses and sucks I don't want to leave. He's gotten some energy from somewhere and keeps kissing me. His hands move over my back, then slide around to my chest, and I kiss and stroke what I can reach of him, trying to get him as hot as he's gotten me.

"Want you so much," he mutters. "Please, Clay. It's been so long."

I groan and get a hand around to press down on his crotch. He's hard as hell. "Yes." I don't care what he wants, I want it, too.

"Thank you."

Then he's down on his knees, taking out my cock. Before I can even moan he's sucking on me, that mouth that gets people out of trouble or into more, that mouth that smiles at me, that mouth that I want to kiss every time I see it, sucking on my hard cock. I have all I can do to keep from grabbing his head and holding it still as I fuck it, but I wouldn't want to hurt Harm, so I don't.

When I come, he swallows it all, and that's almost enough to get me hard again, but instead I reach down, pull him up beside me, and kiss him while I pump his cock to get him off. His arms go around me, and he holds me like I'm all that's keeping him from being swept away into something. I won't let him be swept away. I tighten my grip on his cock, keep my lips fastened on his, put my free hand on his right arm, and hold hard enough to bruise him. I don't care. Whatever ocean is pulling at Harmon Rabb will not have him. Mine, I think fiercely. Mine.

He comes with a shudder and a groan that fills my mouth, and I know then that I've won out over the ocean again. I let go of his cock and hold him until he pulls away.

"Bed." He grabs my arm and pulls me up. "Stay with me, Clay."

There's no chance I'll leave him.

We get into bed, and Harm gets his arms around me as soon as I'm under the covers, as he does most nights we spend together. I never liked to be close to anyone until him.

He kisses my cheek, and the stubble scratches my face, making me smile, then he murmurs something I don't catch and is quiet. Maybe I'll ask him if I can go with him to the Wall on Christmas Eve and stand beside him as he remembers his father, buried in an unmarked grave somewhere in Russia. Maybe he'll even say yes. I think so.

I close my eyes and let the ocean I saved Harm from take me away.

~ End of Story V in the Solstice Series ~

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