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Black Night of the Soul
I wonder how much of this night you remember, Sirius... in dreams or even just by instinct. I still think it's the reason you set me up to be killed by Lupin in our seventh year. The reason you hate me with such a single-minded determination.
Azkaban might even have helped you remember on a more conscious level. After all, the Dementors had twelve years to rummage around in your memories. Yes, I know how it feels; I spent four weeks in Azkaban after Voldemort's fall.
See, it wasn't Malfoy or any of the others who cast the Oblivate on you afterwards; no, even then Voldemort's followers had perfidy down to a form of art. And while I trembled in fear what would happen to me should it ever come out what we did, a small part of me most likely didn't want you to forget it entirely.
My reasons? I wish I knew. Revenge for the numerous ways you and your friends had bullied me for years? Some kind of twisted pride in my actions? No, not incompetence, for I have always been good at mind spells.
In my defense, I'd like to say that it was perhaps the knowledge that this would always be the closest I came to intimacy, and I couldn't bear to erase all evidence. For, if I was the only one of us who remembered it, had it happened at all? I have never been in what the children of today call so loftily "a relationship". As for love, requited or unrequited... don't be ridiculous, I have never known that particular kind of madness and doubt I ever will.
You were so beautiful. Long black hair, wide grey eyes, a broad, tanned face, straight white teeth always flashing in a smile, and a Quidditch player's body... How could I resist?
Besides, resistance meant death, and I knew it.
So, in the night of my initiation ceremony, the night the Dark Mark was burnt into my arm, I...
"Harry Potter" ficlet by allaire mikháil, 340 words, Snape/Black, Snape POV, rated R
I'm still in Chapter 22 of OotP, and I can't seem to gather the courage to read further. See, I know what's going to happen, and I--I'm not ready for it. I'm depressed, I'm angry, I'm unhappy. Hence, this story was born -- a story I can easily see happening in the middle of OotP in Black Mansion.
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